The Don't Cross My Mama

Another oldie...but oouuu wee it's a goodie.

I was a latch key kid. You know one of those kids whose parents worked until 5 and you had to come home by yourself from school?

Yep. That 3-4 hours before she got home were some of the most interesting times of my life. I've cut my arm open, started a few small fires, gotten locked out...you know nothing out of the norm. Annnnd of course, I've invited people over. BAD. BAD idea.

I was dating this kid and only Lord knows why. Maybe it was the lesson at the end of it all. We were from different sides of town, but none-the-less I liked him. So one day after school, I invite him and his brother over to hang out.

Why...oh why?

Of course, I hear the door opening mid potato chip bag and panic. You! Get in the closet, you go that way. It didn't work. My mom was through the door before the second one could hide. So now one is in the closet the other is standing in the hallway with me looking dumb. You know the...should we cry or continue looking stupid.

My mom is furious. Not only is she tired from work, but now I'm standing here with this kid in her house. She puts her stuff down and says, "Call your mom, I'm going to tell her you are in my house and see what she says."

His eyes widen.

Mine too.

He doesn't know what to do. Neither do I.

My mother proceeds to read me my rights and we both are standing there looking crazy.

Oh where's the second one? He decides to come around the corner and my mother's eyes widen even more. Why he decided to open his mouth is beyond me.

"Why you gotta scream at us"?

O_o

I'm shaking like....OMG. WHAT the hell.

Here we are, all four of us in the hallway, us three looking like lost puppies. My mother standing there with her arms crossed.

"Oh really," she says. "Fine. You're in MY house, without MY permission, let me fix this. I'm a call the police. Yall are breaking and entering."

Yeh, um, now I'm crying.

"What"? Smart mouth yells. "We came to hang out with her"!

"Oh did you"? My mom asks, "Well she don't know you either."

Oh 'ish....

I'm standing there, tears streaming down my face, silent. I can't move. All three of us are looking wild and crazy, except the smart mouth. My mom is on the phone with 911.

"There are some boys that are in my house, I caught them here please arrive as soon as possible."

OMG, she was serious.

I haven't said a word yet.

Smart mouth is cursing, screaming, disrespecting everybody. His brother is silently watching his life flash before his eyes and my mother is giving the look like I dare anybody to move.

Stupid surburban police are at the door in less than 10 minutes and we are all still in the hallway. As they come in, my mom is like, "There they are."

I still can't move.

Smart mouth is yelling "Officer we know her, we came after school. I didn't take nothing, touch her, nothing"!

My mom goes, "They were here and we don't know them. She doesn't either," and points to me.

I can't even move.

The officer...is dying. He wants to laugh so bad. He has this smirk on his face and all he can do is shake his head. He talks to my mom in the foyer area by the door and Smart Mouth proceeds to start cursing me out. Yeah, looks like we were about to break up.

The police come back and take the two boys out and drives them home, but my mom still decides to call their parents an hour later....but Smart Mouth answers the phone. Not only does he call my mother out her name but hangs up. She turns to me and says, "This is the type of boy you want to talk to? He disrepects me and doesn't care if you're in trouble either...doesn't say much about you does it"? She walked out the room.

She never put me on punishment for it, (even though I walked around for two weeks silent)those were the final words about the situation and I think she knew from that moment that I would never ever again, as long as I live date a man that doesn't respect my mother and most importantly....me.

I'd rather be alone than to deal with that.