The Funny Valentine

You thought it was The Papa Bear right?

Honestly, I will get back to him. I needed to take a break for a second. Around my birthday I always remember him the most, (he was the first man besides my father to buy me diamonds)....He's a sore spot...(Now you really want to know more...sigh)

Anyhoo, let's laugh for a moment.

I dated this dude back in the day and he was one of those crushes that you've had for so long that when you finally start dating you're like...wth was I thinking?

Mmmmhmmm. Raise your hand.

He lived in another state and we decided to link up for Valentine's Day in LA. Nice right?

So, in all the chaos of putting a last minute trip together, I volunteered to put the hotel in my name because not only do I not trust his taste in hotels but I don't trust his reservation skills.

Moving on.

We meet up in LA and I'm looking at him like...this is going to be a long weekend. But I put it behind me. Valentine's Day is the next day and I want to go to one of my favorite restaurants. Nice lighting, great atmosphere...fab location. I'm feeling it.

We sip on Shiraz (Sorry Drake doesn't rap about that-Google it honey) and munch on fresh pasta. I live. I get to giggling. I'm officially done. So, two bottles later, plates of food, dessert and a violinist later....The bill is ridiculous. He reaches for it. (Normal right?)

Now, you should know I'm one of the best people to go out with. No really. If I have it, I share it. Meaning I don't mind putting in on the bill. It doesn't bother me to treat you to a drink. It's nothing. I love a gentleman and I know how to spoil one. It's just my thing. Some women won't even reach in their purse--I'm not like that. Usually, real dudes won't even take my money. Some of them even find it insulting. Clearly, he is not one.

He looks down at the bill and goes, "Dang...I don't think my card is going to cover this."

A who a what a?

"What do you mean "cover,"?

"Well, like it's a lot."

*Rolls eyes*

"So how much do you have"?

"Well nothing really."

Is he serious? You traveled to another city and you don't have any money? I'm confused. Where they do that at?

I put my plastic down and I am PISSED, no for real livid.

It's cool though, I'm out of town. I want to enjoy myself. If you know me well, then it takes a lot to get me riled up to the point where I can't laugh at the situation. I'm such a free spirit and I don't let anyone take one of the most important things from me: peace.

I put my card down and request that we leave. You see that request? I'm in business mode now.

We get back to the hotel and I need to take a shower. Cool off. Sober up a bit so I can have an attitude clearly. It's hard to have an attitude with someone intoxicated, but I want to be nice and full blown diva.

I get out the shower and go into the main room. There is a smell so horrible that I can't even breathe. I look around the room to find the culprit. I look down and see that his shoes are off.

"What the eff is that smell"? *Screw face*

He looks real dumb and says "I dunno."

I look around and act like I'm going into my bag. I'm literally about to throw-up. Out the corner of my eye, this mikifiki is sliding his socks off and stuffing them in his shoes. He pushes them under the bed and gets up yawning, "Well...I'm a take a shower too."

I'm over it.

I gave him the look like, I suggest you not even breathe my way tonight...or EVER. I got up the next morning and spent the day in the airport. My flight wasn't until the afternoon but I went to fly stand-by I was so ready to get the heck out of there.

I touched down in New York City and shook my head. Only me.

But I laughed....until three days later I get the email from the hotel with the "incidentals" that were charged to my card...including the room fees.

You have got to be kidding me.....339