The Get In The Closet

This is another oldie...but goodie!

Mom's was going out.

Why is that when your parents go away, the first thing you think of is inviting people over?? It's like something in your head goes, ah yes! Empty house. Freedom...I mean it's as if when they walk out the door there's a light around the phone that illuminates and the first number to be dialed is your boyfriend, soon to be boyfriend or a group or friends. Why is that?

Anyway--I had met him at the skating rink. He was tall and handsome....major cool AND he went to a different school. See, thing is my town has ONE high school. So you run out of options pppprreeettty quickly. So going to another school is MAJOR accomplishment. For my NY'ers imagine living in Long Island and dating someone from the city...ya feel me?

Okay, so mom's was hitting the town and I was like it's on. I called him up and he was down for the cause. I had to set the perimeters though...You know you gotta be reeeaaalll specific with the times. Be here at 7:15. Not 7, not 7:20. 7:15.

Then you gotta set the rules:

Don't bring nothing with you. No bags, no ipods, nothing (Don't want nothing getting left behind).

Don't park in the driveway or in front of the house...Two doors down please. Three if it's summertime.

Don't bring nobody with you, especially ya homeboy. He's way too loud. Makes me nervous.

Don't ask for nothing to drink, nothing to eat and don't mess with the VCR/DVD/DVR whatever the heck people use. One, I might forget to wash your glass, don't want extra food out and last if you jack with the recording I'm going to get it!

Finally, Don't get fresh. This aint that type of party.

Okay--now we get all this out and he gets there. We are chilling. Hanging out. You know, they ALWAYS wanna see your room...*side eye* and then it happens....

The front door closes.

There is NOWHERE for him to go.

Oh iiiissshh..

Get in the closet.

Now, my closet is 1 x 3 x like uh 4.....okay not that little but he is a good 6'2" and crunched up sitting on my hamper and under some hangers...Dang I needed twitpic back then.

So I'm mmmmaaadd nervous. Mom's is like she didn't feel good so she came home early....Nice and she wants to talk.

WHY me??

So I'm walking around the house trying to act mad normal but not normal, you know.

"What's wrong with you"? She asks.

"Nothing, Nothing, why something gotta be wrong"? I'm so paranoid.

Finally, I retreat to my room and map out a plan. Now, you're wondering why I didn't just sneak him out. How about my room is right next to my mom's room and anything leaving out or in will be seen and there's no way of getting him out the front or back door without passing the living room.

SOooooO, I open the closet like...er...um..you gotta stay here. He's sweating.

Finally...hourrrrs later my mom goes to sleep. I'm in my room fake sleeping and I can't even sneak him out until she's good and knocked out. I crack my door and I see hers is open. I tiptoe a little and not shut her door but pull it so she can't see.

I glance at the clock it's like 2 or 3 am.....ouuu I feel bad for him. I pry him out of the closet like be quiet. We tip toe past her room and get to the back door. The moment I shut it, I hear...

"T--is that you? You alright...."?

"Yeeesss," I squeak, "Just getting some water."

My heart was in my stomach.