I was so young...and dumb.
At least I can admit it right?
I can't even remember how we met, but he was so....grown. No for real. He was working on his Masters and I was in undergrad. A sophomore. So young....and dumb.
We started dating and it was cool. You know off campus house, car....he was so...grown.
Anyhoo, one Halloween he called me up to go the movies. Of course, I agreed. But me and my friends had this party to go to. On this campus, Halloween is like one of the biggest events of the year. The streets shut down. Everyone dresses up. It goes DOWN. Me and a friend I think were going as "the bomb," that year. I know right, what the heck is that. We both wore all black and made wicks out of masking tape. Then we taped to her back Tic, Tic, Tic and then to my back, BOOM! I know so young....and dumb.
I can remember what I wore exactly to his house. I had borrowed this jean skirt from my girl and this sweater. Smelling good, you know playing grown up. I remember he said, "You look cute...you trying to tell me I need to get dressed"?
So, we get to the movies, had dinner...it's now getting late. I'm dying to get to this party because I'm young...and dumb. On the way from the movies, I remember what song was playing. It was Jill Scott. He said, "Are you coming home or going back to campus"?
Did you catch that? The man said, home...not are you going to your house. But he had distinguished his house and campus. But I was so young...and dumb. I was over his house often. Studied there, spent nights there, cooking, hanging out. WTF! I want to smack myself because instead of appreciating what he wanted to build with me....I said, "Back to campus. I got somewhere to go."
I know, I know, you all just shook your heads...ugh.
So like a idiot I don't go home and go party....I think I ended up passing out somewhere....
*sigh*
Things slowed up slightly, because I was so young...(say it with me) and dumb...
I ended up leaving that school and going back to Chicago for a while. As he was building his career, he was in Chicago often and would call me up. We always ended up doing "lunch."
But I was still...okay, okay, you get the point.
Anyway, fast forward to my move to NY. Randomly I decided to look him up. Don't you love google? So we chit chat back and forth via email....I just went back to read them. SMH. I was a fool.
Until...a few months later. I got an email. There were about six or seven other girls names in the email and one guy. It was from him. The letter read, something to the effect of, I haven't been honest with myself, or my family. I have been keeping in contact with you and I have in turn hurt my wife and my children. Please don't contact me, as I will not be contacting you. Some other blah, blah and the damn thing ended with...."No response needed."
I was speechless. I didn't even know what to make of it. I hadn't seen or talk to him in at least three or four years to say the least and on top of that, wife and children? And I couldn't respond, because he left the "no response needed," comment (I use that all the time now--you shut everybody down with that) leaving us no choice but to throw that email in the trash and keep it moving. But as all this was going through my head, and I contemplated how I could bump into him one day so I could ask in person. One thing popped in my head: Why in the hell was there one dude addressed in the email?
342.
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