Me, Mia and The Monkey

Me and Mia sat at the bar of Tio Pepe's enjoying gaucomole and chips made fresh at the table. Ahh, yes chocolate martinis and Mexican iced teas.

"What's the strongest drink you have"? I asked.
"Please send me the chocolate martini"! Mia said with her soft giggle and friendly manner.

"You are so stupid..."
"Girl, you crazy!"
"Ladies these shots are on the house.."
Giggle giggle...giggle...

This went on for hours and we were filled with warmth and laughter, talking about life, love, and fashion. I don't know what it is about two black girls at a Mexican bar, that makes the bartender think he should keep giving us free drinks.

I'm drunk.

We stumbled outside as the cold air brushed passed us, violating the coats that were meant to keep us warm. I already did the set up before my fourth drink. I had met this guy at school and we had been going back and forth in class. Nothing too serious, but serious enough for us to see what was good. I figured now was a good time to put my plan in action. You know, you send him a text..."Whatchu doing"? Then, you throw in the fact that you are about to start drinking heavily. He sends back that text, "SMH....come over here when you're done." You know, "The Set Up."

Unfortunately, my set-up meant that I would have to take the A, and then the 7...who the hell lives in Queens and who goes there drunk? I get to the 7 train and there are no seats...This is not good. I really need to sit down but instead I choose to lean up against the door. My head is spinning. All of sudden, I can't stand up. I can't see. Am I blacking out? No..No...I'm still awake. I need to sit down. I'm like 5 stops away from my destination. I'm not going to make it. I exit at Lowery Street and sit on the steps....Not two seconds later....

"Bllluuuurrurrrggghhh...."

I'm sitting on the platform steps throwing up gauc and mexican iced tea, all over my black suede boots, while everyone walks past me...Not one person asks if I'm ok. Damn NYC. Did that lady just pull her kid closer?? Damn I look like a drunken hot girl. I call him.

"OMG, do you want me to come get you?? Can you make it"?

"Ummm...no...but I'm a try." FML.

I get to the stop and literally the train doors open and he's standing there. I fall into his arms.

"You are a drunken monkey."

I know....and as he cleaned my boots by spraying them with a water hose, and I prop myself up against the garage door and stairs, the only thing I could muster out was..."Patron is not your friend." 358.