What Can You Bring?

I know you've been reading and waiting for the next victim on my blog. I decided to break a little bit with some of the great things I've been learning and thinking about. Hope you don't mind!

I know I have it together....well sort of. I've spent the last decade of my life, doing well, essentially whatever I wanted. I've owned a business, traveled, not worked, worked, rubbed elbows with the elite and famous, the list goes on. And I must say, I've been in love. But now that I have been single for the past 2 years or so, I've been really evaluating where I am, and where I want to be.

As I turn the corner on my birthday, I realized a few weeks ago that I know that I need to start preparing for the next decade that I may be blessed with. That includes a serious relationship, husband and maybe even children. And yes, I prefer that order. But I said what am I bringing to this equation?

Well first of all, I thought, I'm college trained, I have my own place, I'm independent, extremely talented,you know. Then I said, I'm very giving, loving and kind and then I said, I have a healthy relationship with God, have very high morals and standards and I essentially think I'm a great catch for the right person. And then...I went to church Sunday and randomly enough, my Pastor, A.R. Bernard said something profound.

He asked, what's the best thing you can bring to the relationship? We all said, love, loyalty, trust, being there...the list goes on. He said, while all those things are great....the best thing you can bring to a relationship is to GET A LIFE!

It's funny when you think about it. But really. You must come to the point where you want to be in a relationship and have a life. That means in every aspect, spiritually, emotionally, physically. All of them. Have friends, have a relationship with God, be secure. You know be your own person. Lyfe Jennings said it, "Don't be a nickel looking for a dime." Because if you don't have a life--you enter into a relationship looking for one and drain the other person. If you have one and they don't....they drain you. You know what I'm talking about. You've been there. Two months later, you're tired of the person (well at least I am, for some reason or another) and you chalk it up to incompatibility. While that may be true also, it could be someone doesn't have a life.

You get into a relationship not to discover a life, but to bring your life with theirs and start a new one....

I know, I know, that's good aint it??

Annnndd here's the kicker....Let's say you're like me, you have a life and you're single...it's probably because--you either don't want to share an aspect of your life with someone or vice versa. And if you are not ready to share an aspect of the "life" you have--then you don't need to be in a relationship anyway....(ouuu that one stung).

He was so right. I'll stop talking to someone because they have fat hands (No, really I've done it before) and couldn't quite figure out why. Truth is, I'm so busy, trying to be "busy" I haven't given anyone a real chance to share an aspect of my life. On top of that--the men that I have dated (some) weren't ready to do the same either.

HmmmMmmmm...*waves church fan* Preach Girl! Preach!

So...I say all that to say. I have a new outlook as I turn a year older. I'm continuing to set up my life, and the next person that I may consider dating, I'm asking one question: "Do you have a life"?

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