The Friend's Friend

Okay okay, so everyone has been telling me, "BRING BACK THE BLOG."

There are a couple more stories that I couldn't write before because well--I was dating them...but ah have no fear. Now that I've washed my hands with that foolery, we can move on. As a matter of fact--now that I'm writing again I'm laughing because there a couple more FUNNY stories I'm forgetting.

Anyway, The friend's friend. I know what you're thinking...like here we go. So let me break it down. My friend was talking to this guy...adorable. Like really adorable. Had a lot going for his self. You know self employed (no not a promoter), had his own place (not in his parent's basement), somewhat smart (don't ask), but you know good socioeconomic background. And was adorable.

The relationship between him and my friend was sketchy. She was actually just a girl I knew from going out but I never quite got the details and wasn't for sure if there were elements that I should know (i.e., did they smash, did they talk, etc.) So when I saw him in my store at the time, I didn't quite know how to react. Fast forward he invited me to dinner, so I said (to myself), "Self...Yes..Is this a direct violation of the unwritten rule not to mess with any of your friend's friends"?

Self answered that everybody has to eat. (I'm not that shallow) (LIES!)

So first of all, he calls me for dinner and tells me to call up a friend...and why? Because he's with his friend. Mind you dude is in a whole different car also. First turn off. If it's a first date no man should have any friends, relatives, etc joining you, well unless you guys are just hanging out. So then, I thought to myself well you're right, maybe we are just hanging out and I shouldn't think anything of it. *Kanye shrug*

I call up one of the homegirls and we head over to this Hibachi spot. Now. If you for example, frequent a local spot and for example your friends go there often too, and for example you have a BITTER BITTER relationship with your ex...you probably shouldn't bring anyone else there.

But he did. And low and behold...his ex and her birds--I mean friends are there. So you know how it goes. The looks, the whispers, the laughter, the nose turning, the smart comments (and this was just from me and my friend). Thank God I'm not interested like that in this kid. But she doesn't have to know that.

I ask him in my innocent sweet voice, "Well if you're uncomfortable, do you just want to leave"?

"Nah, that b!tch is mad."

Second turn off. I mean I can bad mouth the girl, but I don't want you doing it in front of me. We grab this seat WAY in the back and are enjoying dinner. So all throughout the dinner his phone is going off. And he has to text back of course. So I'm shaking my head eating my shrimp like Lord, please just get me out of this one because I know that it's them going back and forth. I'm like Lord, I just want to get the rest of this rice and be about my business.

So we make it to the end of the meal and we're leaving out. As we're standing there me and my girl are giggling like only I could be put in these positions. His friend is standing there too attempting to be a "G" and not gossip but wants to stick up for his friend anyway. The Friend's Friend goes to get the car and dun, dun, dun...who walks outside. Yep. The Ex.

So she's with her friends and I'm just thinking Lord, please don't let this girl get rowdy. But no, I must pay for this frivolous free meal.

He pulls up and I don't know if it was the liquor or her instigating friends but something rose up in her body and all I could hear was a tirade of curses in the thickest New York accent, "N this, F that, B this, AIIIGGGHT?? Mutha F her, You's a Punk, B...." and him, "B STFU! this, that and the other...."

Me and my friend are standing there mouths wide open and all we can do is laugh. His friend is attempting to separate this nut from his car where she is slowly approaching and the next thing out her mouth,

"You can keep his ass...he gave me something anyway."

*Dead*

Dinner done. Even his friend turned around like...come on. I'll take y'all home.

Only in NYC.